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ladies u'll love this ;)

 
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Anna



Joined: 17 Nov 2003
Posts: 222
Location: Leeds (UK)

 PostPosted: Fri Jul 22, 2005 6:26 am    Post subject: ladies u'll love this ;) Reply with quote Back to top

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens."

Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?" No response. So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?" Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, Honey , what's for dinner?" Again he gets no response.

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for dinner?" Again there is no response. So he walks right up behind her.

"Honey, what's for dinner?"

(I just love this)

James, for the FIFTH time I've said, "CHICKEN!"
 
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VMG



Joined: 06 May 2005
Posts: 28

 PostPosted: Fri Jul 22, 2005 8:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Aboul Abed passes by a beautiful young lady who was stranded
on the road with a flat tire. The perfect gentleman he is known to be, AboulAbed immediately stops his car and offers the lady his services. While changing her tire, AboulAbed learns that the lady works at the Scientific Academy for the Study of Human Genitals. AboulAbed curiously asks the lady what their studies have revealed that people don't know already. She tells him, to
surprise,that the tallest penises are those of Italians, and the largest in diameter size are those of Iranians. The lady thanks AboulAbed after he had fixed her tire, and asks him for his name ... His answer was: Antonio Rafsanjani!
 
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VMG



Joined: 06 May 2005
Posts: 28

 PostPosted: Fri Jul 22, 2005 8:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

BODY MEETING:

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.


"I should be in charge," said the brain ,

"because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen".


"I should be in charge," said the blood,

"because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."



"I should be in charge," said the stomach,

"because I process food and give all of you energy."



"I should be in charge," said the legs,

"because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."



"I should be in charge," said the eyes,

"because I allow the body to see where it goes."



"I should be in charge," said the rectum,

"Because I'm responsible for waste removal."



All the other body parts laughed at the rectum

and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.



Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache,

the stomach was bloated,

the legs got wobbly,

the eyes got watery,

and the blood was toxic.

They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.



The Moral of the story?



The asshole is usually in charge !!
 
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