www.armenian.ch www.armenian.ch
All Good-Willed Armenians


Humour by Armenian
Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7  Next
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    www.armenian.ch Forum Index -> Humour
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Hrant



Joined: 17 Nov 2003
Posts: 588
Location: Earth

 PostPosted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 7:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Georgian guy is ringing to his brother who is in Moscow:
- Shota ...you know ...our father ...yesterday ...was trying ....to climb ...the tree ....and you know ...his age is .....86 .....but he was climbing .....quite well ..... but suddenly ......he began to feel .....bad .....he kept his heart ..... I don't know what happened ........he felt down .......from the tree ........my dear brother .......I'm so sorry .........we lost our father .........
15 minutes of silence on the both ends of line. From time to time listens how one bother is crying on the other end. Shota:
- Hmmmmm, but .................were you looking very accurate under the tree ???????


Georgian guy is trying to call to home from Moscow:
- Vuah Valiko, gamardzhoba (hello), how are you? how are our parents? what are they doing? what is doing Aniko (Aniko is the name of his wife)?
- Vuah brother, genatsvale (has no special translations, something like Armenian "Cavd Tanem"), we are very good, our parents feels themselves pretty well, our sweety Aniko has found out new boyfriend (with very happy voice)...
- Vuaaaaaaah Valiko?......are you brother to me?
- Yes, of course... (?)...
- Valiko, I am asking you as my brother, take the gun and shoot this animal Aniko .............
- But ......If you are asking - sure my brother...
In a month...
- Vuah Valiko, gamardzhoba genatsvale, how are you? how are our parents? what are they doing? what kind of news?
- Vuah my dear, everything is fine, I'm doing well, our parents are pretty well... yes, by the way, 3 days ago, this animal Aniko saw tha gun in my hands, looked to my face, and understood me, she tried to run, and I - before her... finally I got her and killed in "Winter Garden" place in the center of our village...
- Wait wait Valiko, genatsvale, ...in our village there is no center named "Winter Garden"...
- Vuahhhhhh ........ Excuse me, by which number are you calling???


One Georgian is dying. Relatives are advising to his younger son:
- You know, your elder brother is in Russia now, but he has to be on the burials of own father. But he loved his father much. And you know him since childhood. So you should write him a easy letter, that he wouldn't be killed by emotins coming here, and afterwards, here, he will realise the situation.
Younger brother is writing a letter:
"My dear brother Vakhtang... you have to return to Tbilissi... as soon as it is possible.... our father feels himself very bad..... tomortow is going to be his burial........."
_________________
ՄԱՀՆ ԻՄԱՑԵԱԼ ԱՆՄԱՀՈՒԹՅՈՒՆ Է
*ԵՂԻՇԵ, V-ՐԴ ԴԱՐ
 
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Gev



Joined: 09 Feb 2004
Posts: 248
Location: Bern

 PostPosted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 10:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

What is better Bier of Mother-in-law?????

Both cold and on the Table..... Twisted Evil Twisted Evil
 
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger ICQ Number
Hrant



Joined: 17 Nov 2003
Posts: 588
Location: Earth

 PostPosted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 10:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

- How many teeth has to has a mother-in-law?
- Two! One - for opening the bottle of beer, and second - for always having a toothache.
_________________
ՄԱՀՆ ԻՄԱՑԵԱԼ ԱՆՄԱՀՈՒԹՅՈՒՆ Է
*ԵՂԻՇԵ, V-ՐԴ ԴԱՐ
 
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Hrant



Joined: 17 Nov 2003
Posts: 588
Location: Earth

 PostPosted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 10:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

In hospital. Doctor is saying to a man:
- Unfortunately your mother-in-law has 8 hours life from now...
- That's ok Doctor, I can wait it, I was keeping in a wait 9 years...


- Daddy, why grandmother is running by the garden in a very strange way?
- For one she is grndmother, for one is mother-in-law, give me some more patrons!


In a week of "born" Adam and Eve. Eve:
- Darling, tomorrow my mother will come to us for a month...
_________________
ՄԱՀՆ ԻՄԱՑԵԱԼ ԱՆՄԱՀՈՒԹՅՈՒՆ Է
*ԵՂԻՇԵ, V-ՐԴ ԴԱՐ
 
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
HyeScorpio



Joined: 16 Jan 2004
Posts: 212
Location: here and there...mostly there

 PostPosted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 10:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Dear Hrant ,

as far as i know you are enggaged, right ?
i 'll give you an advice for free:
before telling jokes about mother-in-laws make sure that mother of your future wife cant use internet to see and to read your "jokes" about her...

Laughing
_________________
"We are few, but we are called Armenians..."
 
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Hrant



Joined: 17 Nov 2003
Posts: 588
Location: Earth

 PostPosted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 11:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

HyeScorpio wrote:
Dear Hrant ,

as far as i know you are enggaged, right ?
i 'll give you an advice for free:
before telling jokes about mother-in-laws make sure that mother of your future wife cant use internet to see and to read your "jokes" about her...

Laughing


yur're bad guy Exclamation Laughing
first of all I don't joke about MY "mother-in-low". in jokes I mean the global meaning of the word and not the individual.
second she isn't connecting to Internet yet.
third - she will never now about my jokes (not about her) unless some bad guys from mafia show her a way to this forum.....
and what about you? you don't know any jokes about zokanch-mayriks or you are just making an insurance for you from future troubles?
Laughing Laughing Laughing
_________________
ՄԱՀՆ ԻՄԱՑԵԱԼ ԱՆՄԱՀՈՒԹՅՈՒՆ Է
*ԵՂԻՇԵ, V-ՐԴ ԴԱՐ
 
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Hrant



Joined: 17 Nov 2003
Posts: 588
Location: Earth

 PostPosted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 12:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Young jewish guy is entering to train. In his room he saw much elderer jewish is already sitting and reading Tora. In some time young guy asks:
- sorry, wouldn't you say the time, please?
no answers... another jewish is continuing to reat it as nothing happened. in another couple of times:
- Excuse me, wouldn't you, please, be so kind to answer to my siplme question, that I want to know what time is it now?
...again the same.
in some minutes train is comming to the end point. old jewish is looking on his watches and replies:
- 5:30
- Thank you, but I don't need it anymore! ...Why weren't you replying before?
- You understand - if I would say you the time at first, we'll began to talk, meet, then we'll find out that we live in same city, we'll like each other, then you'll come to my home as a guest, there you'll meet my daughter, fall in love and would like to marry on her. But how can I marry my daughter to a man who isn't even able to buy watches for himself?
_________________
ՄԱՀՆ ԻՄԱՑԵԱԼ ԱՆՄԱՀՈՒԹՅՈՒՆ Է
*ԵՂԻՇԵ, V-ՐԴ ԴԱՐ
 
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
HyeScorpio



Joined: 16 Jan 2004
Posts: 212
Location: here and there...mostly there

 PostPosted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 12:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

http://svt.se/hogafflahage/hogafflaHage_site/Kor/hestekor.html
_________________
"We are few, but we are called Armenians..."
 
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Hrant



Joined: 17 Nov 2003
Posts: 588
Location: Earth

 PostPosted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 1:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

English has a Wife and Lover. Loves Wife.
French has a Wife and Lover. Loves Lover.
Jewish has a Wife and Lover. Loves Mother.
Russian has a Wife and Lover. Loves to Drink.


Paradoks of market:
You can with US dollars buy from Caucasians Italian goods, that had been made in China, and then - in russian confuse how could Jewish lie to whole world !


Armagedon! End of life...
Question to a Georgian:
- 2 times 2?
- 4.
- Great, you can go to Edem.
Question to Azerbaijanian:
- 3 times 3?
- 9.
- Great, you can fo to Edem.
Question to Armenian:
- 254675 times 356748,9 ?
- If there is no more places just say like this ara !!!


US citizen is flying by Armenian Airlines. Nice waiter is coming to him and asks:
- Would you like to have a dinner?
- And what is a choice?
- YES or NO.


- Why there aren't white M&M?
- Because of they could take as a slavery the black ones, take all the lands from red ones, take away from everybody the blue ones, charge the yellow ones for buysing all markets with unusable things, and green ones that they want to earn all the lands of the world, and began to confuse that brown ones busied all work places!


Old jewish has died. The official opening of his testament:
"To my daughter Sara, I'm leaving 100.000$ and house, to my grand doughter Riva, I'm leaving 200.000$ and cottage. To my son-in-law Shmulik who was asking to remember him in a testament - I'm remembering: Hello Shmulik!"
_________________
ՄԱՀՆ ԻՄԱՑԵԱԼ ԱՆՄԱՀՈՒԹՅՈՒՆ Է
*ԵՂԻՇԵ, V-ՐԴ ԴԱՐ
 
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Gev



Joined: 09 Feb 2004
Posts: 248
Location: Bern

 PostPosted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 2:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Armneian LOVE TRIANGLE

SHE LOVES HIM and HE LOVES HIS MOTHER! Laughing
 
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger ICQ Number
Gev



Joined: 09 Feb 2004
Posts: 248
Location: Bern

 PostPosted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 11:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Vay mama jan mera xndalov.... Laughing Laughing Laughing Twisted Evil Twisted Evil
It is very funny recieved from Amrenia BIG thanx to MRUT!

http://homepage.sunrise.ch/mysunrise/gev/Italian.mp3
 
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger ICQ Number
Hasmik



Joined: 16 Feb 2004
Posts: 82
Location: Bern

 PostPosted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 11:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

A telephone rang in a hospital.
"Please, send an ambulance, our mother-in-law has eaten poisonous mushrooms."
The ambulance came, the paramedics took mushrooms for analysis, and looked at the victim.
"But why is she all over in bruises and scratches?"
"Didn't want to eat the mushrooms."

Smile
 
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Hasmik



Joined: 16 Feb 2004
Posts: 82
Location: Bern

 PostPosted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 11:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Gev wrote:
Vay mama jan mera xndalov.... Laughing Laughing Laughing Twisted Evil Twisted Evil
It is very funny recieved from Amrenia BIG thanx to MRUT!

http://homepage.sunrise.ch/mysunrise/gev/Italian.mp3




cool. Laughing shat lavner!!Smile)he he he
 
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Hasmik



Joined: 16 Feb 2004
Posts: 82
Location: Bern

 PostPosted: Wed Feb 25, 2004 12:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

One gangster says to another:
"I have a dream. I want to rob a bank and leave the finger-prints of my mother-in-law."


The family of a "New Russian" (NR) are swimming in the lake, nearby a fisherman sits - catching fish. Suddenly the fisherman hears the NR calling for help.
"Help! My wife is sinking, and I can`t swim! I`ll give you $100 if you help me!"
In ten seconds the fisherman appears near the sinking lady and pulls out her from the water. Then says to NR:
"Well, where are my bucks?"
"You know, she was moving in the water so fast, that I thought she was my wife, but I was mistaken- it was my mother-in-law."
"Poor guy! How much do I owe you?"

If you knew, how my mother-in-law loves to talk! When she was on a resort, even her tongue became sunburnt
Smile

"Sir, would you like some of my candy?"
"Thank you, young man. That's very generous of you."
"Is it tasty?"
"Sure is."
"That's strange - both my guinea pig and my cat spit it out."


A Jew comes to a horse race club.
"I want to ride a horse. May I rent a horse?"
"Sure. Which horse would you like?"
"I need a longer one."
"???"
"We are five..."
 
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Hasmik



Joined: 16 Feb 2004
Posts: 82
Location: Bern

 PostPosted: Mon Mar 01, 2004 10:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

A tourist asks the guide:
- When does the Loch-Ness monster show up?
- Usually after the fifth shot of whisky.


Ivan, do you know Einstein is coming to Odessa.
- Who is he? Is he a famous pharmacist?
- No, he is a famous physicist. He is the author of the 'Theory of the Relativity".
- What's that?
- Well, how can I explain this...? You see, you have two hairs on your head. Is that a lot or a little?
- A little.
- And now let's imagine you found the same number of hairs in your soup...
- Can it be true? He is coming to Odessa with this stupid joke?

Smile

American jornalist interviews a Russian writer. He puts his feet on the table and asks:
- I hope this does not embarass you.
- Oh, no. Feel free to put all 4 of your legs up there.


During his visit to the USSR, Nixon was intrigued by a new telephone capable of connecting with hell. He spoke briefly with the devil, and the call cost him 27 cents. When he came back home, he found out that this same service was now available in the US too. He tried it again and received a bill for $12,000. Nixon was distressed.
- How come?! The same call only cost me 27 cents in the USSR.
- Well, said the operator. Over there it is a local call. Wink
 
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    www.armenian.ch Forum Index -> Humour All times are GMT + 1 Hour
Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7  Next
Page 5 of 7

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum